“No matter what you do, some people aren’t going to like you. They will call you too much or too little. Too loud or too quiet. Too soft or too strong. As long as you have flavor, you won’t be someone’s cup of tea. So if you can’t live in such a way that everyone will like you, I suggest living in such a way that you do. It’s you that you sleep with every night, anyway.” – Miss Erin Brown
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” – Dita Von Teese
I try very hard to live in such a way that my little life does not ever negatively affect anyone around me. I was raised to behave with patience, respect, and consideration towards all other soft humans on this world with me. I address any and all (gratefully, rare) interpersonal conflict with sensitivity, diplomacy, and empathy, because there are two sides to every story, and your feelings are just as valid as my own. I even take great pains to keep negative opinions or complaints I might have confined to the tender safety of the core of my familial tribe, because there is enough negativity in this world, and I would so much more rather share with you the things I love.
But people will always find something to criticize you for.
Fortunately, my thirties have gifted me with a powerful sense of self, and a deep deep comfort in the woman I’ve become. I was raised by a fiercely strong heroine/mother who instilled in me, through example, an unshakable self-respect, but it has taken me years to reach a place in which my self worth really hinges little on the opinions of others. Obviously it is nice to be liked and accepted – I am only human, after all – but mean-spirited gossip, hateful words, ugly comments … If they do happen, I can’t even see them, they’re so far removed from the person I am.
I love the kind, honest, strange little woman I’ve grown into, and I sleep well, and deeply, with her. I am not infallible, but I am doing the best I can. That’s all we should ever ask of anyone.